What have you done for me, lately?
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Everything about seeing some other guy slipping on a banana peel and falling over and getting hurt is funny - to eveyone else, except the guy who falls down. We humans got to laugh - and I guess it keeps us from crying - and it helps us survive the things that make us cry.
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-- Yeah, yeah, you want it now and you say that if I don't give it to you, you've got a million other people who will. - You say that I don't know how important you are? - You say that I'm very lucky to have you here. -- Sure! Let me tell you one of my stories (to put YOU down): -- There is this here couple, you see, Harry and Maude. -- They're sittin' at their kitchen table. - Harry is finishin' off his cup of coffee and reading the want-ads. -- You see, Harry is outa work. -- Maude says to Harry: "Harry, love, why doncha call in your favors? That buddy, Johnny, you saved back in that World War you fought, owes you a big favor. He's doin' all right. - He owes you his life and he owes you a lifetime job. Go, - look him up."
-- "That's been over twenty years ago, Maude. He's too much above me to even remember me. I don't sees me askin' him for no favors."
-- "You listen to me, Harry, you go to his big plant and you tell him!!" [This is my quick version of this story,] -- Harry drives to this guy's plant. (Oh, boy, he must be loaded! He's on twenty-six acres with big signs, "Jonn T. Moneybags, Conglomerates" The signs are so big that they underline them with "New York - London - Paris - Berlin - Tokyo - Hong Kong - Mexico City." -- THAT'S BIG!!
-- I'll skip to the part where he's passed Security. He's been sent to the Executive Office on the 23rd Floor; he's gotten ushered into the unbelievable plush and mahogany-and-exotic-wood panelled office of "J.T. Moneybags." - Why, he's so 'tops' that his two private outer-office secretaries bow to him and say, "Yes, J.T." - "Of course, Mr. Moneybags," to whatever he wants. And you can just bet that they do it right-away. -- (Look, don't rush me, I'll get to it. I'm telling it right -- that's all I'm doing..I'm fleshing it out - a little. ;-)
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"You see all this? It's not mine." ... "It's on loan." ... "They made this company and gave it to me to run." ...
"I have to answer to my Directors."
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-- Harry trembles, but goes on: "I guess you've come back from the War and done all right for yourself, Johnny?" (Harry tries to make a joke, but doesn't know if it's funny or not?) -- "It's Harry, isn't it?" "That will be all, Miss Frump," he says to the Secretery as she leaves, then closes the door. -- "It's John now, not Johnny, make a note of it. - It's John T. Moneybags III." He takes Harry's arm and leads him over to the window. "Let me tell you something. You see all this? It's not mine. You see this office? Yes, it's my office, all right, but it isn't really mine, either. It's on loan. It's my grand-daddies and my daddies. They made this company and gave it to me to run. - They're out on their yacht, off their island in Greece, enjoying "the good life." Why, Harry, you have it better than me. I'm a tied prisoner in a plush palace. You, Harry, can go and come as you damn-well please. You are your own boss. I have to answer to my Directors. They, "Dow-Jones" and the Stockholders, they own this company. I have to answer to lawyers, accountants, the tax people, the people out there. - And it's "give and take." - Everyone wants something from me: -- My wife. My children. My grandchildren. John T. Moneybags I and II. -- To Charities that want money. To "Foundations," you know? To Senators and Congressmen. -- The World thinks I owe it a living." -
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A cut diamond sparkles when placed under a clear bright light. Setting it upon a black velvet cloth makes it desireable.
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-- "But, Johnny, eh, John, I came here to ask you a favor. You can remember! I saved your life. -- We were under attack and the bombs were falling and the bullets were flying and any minute we could've been killed in that muddy foxhole! Any minute it would be curtains. - That, that handgrenade landed and we could have been blown to bloomin' pieces, to smithereens, and it would have been our last. And I threw myself over you and shielded you. -- I was wounded, badly, and was in re-hab for seven months and you were saved. - I heard they sent you back home, a hero, and gave you a Purple Heart. - They said that YOU Saved my life. -- I got one, too, a Purple and a couple of Bronze Medals, but that doesn't matter. I'm just glad I got back, alive. - PLEASE, JOHN-NEE, I NEED A JOB." |
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An "Idea Person" is an uncut diamond in the rough. I ask you,
"What do you wish to be?" Become an IASL Member to become cut and polished.
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-- "What do you mean? Harry? You think I owe you? It's been twenty-three years since I've seen you. You could have been dead for all I know? "What have YOU done for Me, lately?" * * "The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it." -- Bertrand Russell, The Philosphy of Logical Atomism -- Everything about seeing some other guy slipping on a banana peel and falling over and getting hurt is funny - to eveyone else, except the guy who falls down. -- Pain is funny. - The kid with the aching tooth with the knotted handkerchief around his swollen jaw; that's funny. - Everything, when you want it to be, is funny. - We humans got to laugh - and I guess it keeps us from crying - and it helps us survive the things that make us cry. -- There is a point I want to make. But as I think this over, I think of many things. And you should too. -- I didn't waste your time, (time is money), you really did need to take a break with this jog in that road. You really did need to take this detour. You will be a better person for it. -- Robert Scheinkman, 08/11/2004
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-- They say,
"A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing." --KEEP LEARNING A lot of knowledge will provide you more use. -- For even diamond chips will have good purpose. They serve to polish bigger gemstones. Knowlege does not go to waste.
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-- -- -- -- COMPANY RULES -- -- -- -- -- SICK DAYS:
-- We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
-- SURGERY:
-- Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
-- PERSONAL DAYS:
-- Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays and Sundays.
-- VACATION DAYS:
-- All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25
-- BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
-- There is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour earlier, provided your share of the workload is done enough.
-- OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
-- This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement.
-- RESTROOM USE:
-- Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies, employees may swap their time with a co-worker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.
-- LUNCH BREAK:
-- Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain the average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Sondra gets none.
-- DRESS CODE:
-- It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
-- Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere. -- Have a nice week.
-- Management
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Web Page:
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http://www.inventorsconnection.org/Topics/42646.html
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