-- If you would listen, I can get you back in shape for our next bout.

-- You now know what you shoulda known yesterday.

-- Exercise your mind.

-- Relax. There is a lot of fight in you yet.

-- Say, duh. -- Now, doesn't that make you sound stupid?

-- Are you stupid? -- NO -- So don't fall asleep on me. Keep your chin up. Take a deep breath. Drop your arms to your sides and wiggle your fingers. Now say "duh" again and stick your tongue out.

-- Shake your head from side to side. Now up and down. Side to side. -- Stop making faces like a damn fool :-) -- Get back to normal.

-- Now squint your beedy eyes as if having deep thoughts. -- Think of something real pleasant. -- Relax. -- Daydream.

-- "The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it." -- Unknown

-- Make the best of your situation.

-- -- "Changing the world one loan at a time -

-- "Take time to smell the roses!
-- -- -- Researchers have found that
the scent of flowers lowers heart rate and blood pressure, distracting us from worries. In fact, just looking at a bouquet or a garden lessons tension." -- Womens World

Tarzan and Jane were expecting their fourth child and were pretty strapped for cash, so Tarzan decided to go into the used-crocodile business. Monday morning he got up early, shaved, put on his best loin cloth, swung down to the river, and spent the whole day fighting, haggling over and hassling with cranky crocs.

As dusk fell, a wan Tarzan swung back to the treehouse and demanded, "Quick, Jane, a martini!" Tossing it back he barked, "Another, Jane, on the double!" Gulping it down, he held out his glass again. "One more, Jane."

"Aw, honey, don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?" she chided gently.

"You don't understand, Jane... it's a jungle out there."

-- "Helpful Hints ~ Natural Remedies" --

-- I&I Upcoming Funding Opportunity -- Inventions & Innovation (I&I). - Within the U.S. Department of Energy's Office of Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy (EERE), It will release its next solicitation sometime in 2007. To receive its e-mail notification of this upcoming I&I funding opportunities, subscribe to: http://www.grants.gov/SpreadWordWebcast. Enter your e-mail address, then select "Energy" as the Category of Funding Activity. Enter "81.036" as the CFDA Number for Inventions and Innovation. Next, select "Department of Energy" as the Agency. Finally, click "Subscribe to Mailing List".

-- Following these steps is a convenient way to learn about upcoming I&I funding opportunities, but for the most up-to-date information about I&I funding opportunities, technologies, and resources, please visit the I&I Web site at
-- "Inventions and Innovation: Information Resources" -- EERE: Industrial Technologies Program" --

-- "Grants from the Government" -- Grants.gov
is your source to FIND and APPLY for federal government grants. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services is proud to be the managing partner for Grants.gov, an initiative that is having an unparalleled impact on the grant community.

--> The IASL, along with the Illinois Innovators and Inventors Association, invited all inventors to Florissant Valley Community College for a December 18th, 2006, 6-8 pm tour of the Emerson manufacturing facility.

-- Flo-Valley is interested in working with Inventors in helping with design and letting the inventor understand manufacturing. Go to them. Flo-Valley will help you with your prototypes.

-- Manufacturing processes that they have, include Plastic Injection machines, CNC and Manual machining, Waterjet cutting, Vacuum Form, sheet metal bending, EDM, Electronic and electrical design and welding. They have expressed an interest in working with Product Developers in aiding them with design of their projects. They have FDM, a type of Rapid Protoype machine. The latest in 3/D CAD/CAM software with solid modeling. The most important piece of design equipment is a 3/D scanner. This machine scans your project and makes a CAD drawing of it with complete dimensions and can bring it up on their computer in a solid model. You can then make modifications and send it to the FDM machine for a prototype.

-- Florissant Valley is located at 3400 Pershall, St Louis, MO 63135.

-- Here was a chance to see the latest in manufacturing capabilities and get some design help with your project. -- If you have any further questions, call or E-mail Rich Freese @ 314-638-1227 - 1-800-746-9550, arhctysv@netzero.net Arch City Home mfg@archcity.net

--> --> The IASL "MARKETEERS" INDEX --> -->
- 001. Think of us as mountain climbers
- 002. Successful Inventing Equals Successful Marketing
- 003. Just a blip away on the radar screen.
- 004. Performers on the world's passing parade stage
- 005. Zillion Dollar Idea? Hey! Deal me in.
- 006. Quintillions of Light-years Away
- 007. The meeting of the minds
- 008. It goes without saying
- 009. Put away your money - I've got it!!
- 010. I'd Like to See Them Make
- 011. -- What have you done for me, lately?
- 012. -- The Cutting Edge -- --
- 013. -- If not you, who? --
- 014. And there's always a However?
- 015. Our Final Jeopardy Topic is:
- 016. - Did I forget something?
- 017. - Potpourri - Additional Important Information
- 018. You did What? Oh No-o-o
- 019. "You gotta be serious!" - R-e-a-l-l-y
- 020. When all else fails - follow directions
- 021. Anyway...Build a Better Mousetrap..

What do I charge? Nothing for questions. If you want me to actually make you something then we can talk.
Sincerely,
with regards, John M
http://merzfeld2004@yahoo.com(JM)

My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, and he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath."

I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2005:

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[Good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[He probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gas prices are so high that when this college girl pulled into a gas station and asked for 2 dollar's worth, the attendant dabbed some behind her ears.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Travis and McGee met over a beer in the local pub. After a while the subject of sports came up. Travis asked McGee, "Do you play golf?"
"Sure," said McGee, "I play well enough to know why they call it 'golf'."
Puzzled, Travis asks, "Why do they call it 'golf'?"
"Because," replied McGee, "that's the only 4-letter word left!!"

-- -- Thought of the day --
-- "Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away."