-- In the old days they were the headstrong wildcatters on oil rigs that bragged that they didn't mind getting dirty as long as there was that 'big money' to be made. - Runaways that left home seeking their 'lucky freakin' fortunes', - those gamblers, hustlers and pushy fast buck artists, call them what you will, for they now have their prouder names like "E-traders." - They seem to think that their lives will pass them by?

-- At least they are trying and I'll give them good credit for that.

-- "When you are young, you know no tomorrows." -- You take risks, you plunge right at it. You steadily overcome adversity and bounce right back. You are invincible! You are expendable, and that is why the 4-Star Generals lay back, sitting safe in their armored bunkers, while you 'grunts' are on the ground, and fighting it out hand-to-hand from the dirty fox-holes and trenches.

-- When reading, search for the absence of fact. - Understand who wrote the book - discover their hidden agenda. Smarten up. - Robert Scheinkman

-- "It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, It's what we know that ain't so." -- Will Rogers

-- "FOXNews.com - Laid-Back Surfer Dude May Be Next Einstein --

-- -- Thought of the day: --
-- "The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible - and achieve it, generation after generation."
-- Pearl S. Buck
1892-1973, Pulitzer and Nobel Prize Winning Author

"Inventors, Who Are Your Gatekeepers?"

-- YOUNG MAN, I LIKE YOUR THINKING

-- A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Billy.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little Billy says, "I have a question for you. - "There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little Billy replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."

-- "It is the malady of our age that the young are so busy teaching us that they have no time left to learn." -- Eric Hoffer

-- Jake is five years old and learning to read. He points to a picture in a zoo book and says, "Look, Mama! It's a frickin' elephant!"
-- Deep breath... "What did you call it?"
-- "It's a frickin' elephant, Mama! It says so on the picture!"
-- And so it does... "A f r i c a n Elephant." Hooked on phonics! Ain't it wonderful?

-- All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call  Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

-- The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also  considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

-- Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in  liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to  literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink".  Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of MOUNT & DO.

-- Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

This is good no matter how old you are....but if you can recall any of this, it makes it that much more realistic and funny!

LIFE through the eyes of an old 30-year old.....

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning .... uphill .... BOTH ways !!

yadda, yadda, yadda!

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of (You fill in the blank...( ), I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy!

I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter...with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it into the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the F@#*%N DJ'd usually talked over the beginning and S@#*%D it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know ?? !!!

You had to pick it up and take your chances mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids' and the graphics sucked! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died!

Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed! Yeah, S@#*%D!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like three channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!

You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your fat ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!

And there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little sh*#s.

And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire... imagine that! We suffered!!

If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot, and ended up with a bag full of unpopped kernals and burnt popcorn. Geeze, kid, you've got it gooo-d!!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too-damn-easy.. !!

You're spoiled!!!!!!!!!

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in the 80's!

Oh yeah, and a seatbelt was Mom throwing her arm across your chest every time she hit the brakes.

Regards,

The over 30 Crowd -- [George Carlin]

-- "Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes."

-- Many people today live their entire lives on the basis of "seeing is believing." That is to say, the only images they get emotionally involved with are the ones they can discern with their physical senses. But the individuals of real "vision," down through the ages, have always known the overriding principle is, "what you see is what you get."

-- Expressed somewhat differently, what this means is that the images in people's minds, actually precede the concrete images, which pervade our material world. Therefore, you should be aware of the fact that the fascinating physical world we see before us, with all of its conveniences for making our lives more comfortable, has been built largely by image-makers - men and women of vision who knew what they could do, and EXPECTED everything else to "fall into place," regardless of what their critics might say to the contrary.

-- Remember, you will only receive what you truly expect, not what you only wish for.